Chimera by Thurman

A new story from an author I like. She (she writes as Rob but it's a girl), she writes good bro-mance stories, and I mean that as a good thing. It's more sci fi than fantasy, a story about a brother who loses and finds a lost brother who's been genetically tampered with by some shady people.

favorite quote: (a guy is headed toward the main character with a knife drawn) "Here comes a guy who didn't listen to his guidance counselor either."

The Passage

Ok... this is a crazy big, thick, long book about vampires, non-sparkly kind, that wipe out humanity until, after a hundred years...

*spoiler alert (not really)*

...they die off.

Obviously, not a real complicated plot, which was sort of disappointing since it had potential to explore lots of interesting "collapse of civilization" events, but it starts it (science project goes amok) then skips ahead a hundred years (colony that hunts vampires every night and lives in fear and hoping for rescue).

I finished it... that's something. If you liked The Road, or other apocalyptic stories, you would probably digg it. Just don't have that gushing excitement to get everyone else I know to try it.

Green Guide for Artists by Karen Mitchel and Kristen Hampshire

Last year, I was enrolled in an art therapy program on the Northeast coast. While we did talk about the hazards of each art form, we never talked about the alternatives or about the environmental impact of art supplies. Karen Michel's book Green Guide for Artists: Nontoxic Recipes, Green Art ideas & Resources for the Eco-Conscious Artist rectifies this absence. In addition, she also discusses how to mix one's own paint using organic products, how to stretch one's own canvas, provides green art project ideas, discusses artist who specialize in green art, and includes a resources section.

My favorite part was the recipe section, whereby she provides instructions for making acrylics, watercolors, gouache, and milk paints and explains how to make several different environmentally vegan glues.

You know you are a book nerd when...

...your fellow counseling nerd friends make fun of you for reading about Transtheoretical Model of Behavioral Change during the summer.

Divorce Rates are Dropping

Everyone knows that 50% of marriages end in divorce, right?

Wrong. And right. For the generation born in the 1950's and married in the 1970's the divorce rate is hovering at just about the 50% line. However did you know that if the wife has at least a college degree the likelihood of divorce drops to 23?. When I have discussed this trend with my friends they weren't aware of this companion factoid.

But this is not true for subsequent generations. Generations marrying since the 1970's have seen a significant decrease in divorce rates for both college and high school graduates. As stated above, divorce rates after 10 years for the generation married during the 1970s for college graduates is 23 percent. However the rates of divorce drops to 20% for the those married in the 1980's with a college degree and 16% for those married in the 1990s. Parker-Pope gives several different reasons for why the divorce rate is declining.

This is just one of the surprising findings I discovered in Tara Parker-Pope's For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage. I also learned that gay and straight couples fight differently. John Gottmann, the preeminent researcher on marriage, along with Robert Levenson did a 12-year study comparing straight and gay marriages. They found that gay and straight couples fight differently; gay couples fight more fairly with fewer verbal attacks and "each partner made more of an effort to defuse the confrontation. The use of controlling and hostile emotional tactics, like belligerence and domineering, also were less common among gay couples."

Lastly, this book gave me lots of interesting articles and resources to pursue for future research and exploration.

For Better is a popscience book with the problems inherent in that genre. Even though it has almost 200 references, I would still like more references. She is a blog writer for the New York Times and the book has a gossipy air. While the book is ostensibly about what makes marriage work, For Better focuses more on divorce than on factors that keep couples together.

Saying that, For Better is a quick and informative read. It shifted my view of marriage and for that I am appreciative. I would recommend it to anyone who wants to know the state of modern American marriage. I am really glad I read this book.

Attention Austin Foodies

Anthony Bourdain is signing books at Bookpeople June 29th.

Small Favor by Jim Butcher

If you enjoy the previous nine Dresden Files you should enjoy this one, too. It was quick and mindless, but the fun factor was largely absent. I miss the flaming-poo flinging giant monkeys found in a previous book.

The usual formula is stagnate. Butcher has nothing new to say. I don't know how many more Dresden Files I am going to read. I will probably continue to pick one up from the library if I've had a especially bad day, but gone are the days when I look forward with special glee to next one. I hope the next ones pick back up.

How Would You Like to be Remembered?

The other day, my mother and I were in the car driving to lunch. Nonchalantly, I asked her how she would like to be remembered and what stories she would like me to pass down to my sister's children. I thought it was an innocuous question. Little did I know. This started an avalanche of feelings and emotions that I was not expecting. Eventually, Mom and I had a very lovely meaningful dialogue about what aspects of ourselves we wanted to pass down and what aspects of ourselves we already see in the younger generation.

We would never have had this conversation had it not been for Re-membering Lives: Conversations with the Dying and the Bereaved by Lorraine Hedtke and John Winslade. The traditional method of looking at death was substantiated by Kubler-Ross as a series of steps (denial, grief, anger, depression, acceptance) in order disengage one's self from lost loved ones. Using narrative therapy, this book takes a very different avenue through which to explore death and bereavement.

Instead of letting go, the authors advocate that the living decide what active role the deceased will take in their lives. The concept of membership is especially important in their model. Taking a membership stance means that anyone who has played a pivotal role in one's life can be given membership whether or not they are related to one genetically. If your next door neighbor for instance was especially important to one, one can decide to grant that person membership in one's life. On the other hand, if a family member was difficult and subtracted from your life the authors encourage you to demote that person's membership. It is a very empowering technique that allows the individual to decide how much influence they will allow others to extend over their lives.

Hedtke and Winslade also talk about using this lens in hospice setting. They encourage people who are dying, caregivers, and families to prompt discussions with the aged about how they would like to be remembered, what stories they would like to have told about them, and what traditions. The authors have found that reviewing these details with people in their twilight moments can be helpful not only for the dying person, but also reassuring for their families.

Narrative therapy is the backbone of the Re-membering Lives approach. Narrative therapy was developed by Michael White in Australia in the 1970's. According to this strategy, people construct their lives according to an internal dialogue with one's self whereby one creates a linear storyline of one's life. As I understand it, narrative therapy is about reframing one's life on a grand scale allowing more and richer details to infuse one's view of one's life.

Lastly, social justice is another key element in this Hedtke and Winslade's work. They look at minority groups and ask the questions "Who gets to write your story?" and "What elements are remembered?" In this vantage point, individuals within dominate culture often are the ones who write the history books and it is through their worldview that only certain affirming elements are revered and valued. Remembering Lives challenges this skewed application of power. This approach empowers the disenfranchised to decide for themselves what elements of their story that they want to remember and value.

How would you like to be remembered?